As Stephen was being stoned, he cried out with a loud voice. Acts 7:60. It says, “…Lord, do not charge them with this sin. And when he had said this, he fell asleep.” Stephen’s last words were of forgiveness.

When we are disappointed, it is often because someone said they would do something and didn’t. If we allow that disappointment to fester, it will cause bitterness, resentment, anger ~ sickness will form. I have seen this over and over in my years of counseling. They continue to carry the emotional pain. God’s way is to release it in the moment through forgiveness.

Have you ever been disappointed with yourself, because you didn’t measure up to your own expectations? That negative barrage of thoughts causes us to spiral down into an emotional dark hole. Depression is often rooted in disappointments. 

Beware. Don’t bury your disappointments. Release them. Use them to refocus on the Lord. They are literally your past that passed. Don’t carry them into your present. They will entangle you and weigh you down. Hebrews 12:1 says to lay them aside.

A childhood hymn comes to mind as I think about disappointments. There is no disappointment in heaven. Disappointments are trials in this life only. They are signals that warn us that we got distracted. Our focus has been misplaced.

We never know what to expect. That is why our expectations need to be on the Lord’s character which never changes. Trials come suddenly and often without warning. James 1:3 says, “…when you fall into various trials.” 

I love David’s Psalm 62. It helps to center me. Verses 1-3 say, “Truly my soul silently waits for God; from Him comes my salvation. He only is my rock and my salvation; He is my defense; I shall not be greatly moved.”

We fix our eyes on Jesus. Fix means to gaze intently, and not allow anything to distract us. Think of Stephen. The crowd was gnashing their teeth in rage. Acts 7:55 says, “But he, being full of the Holy Spirit, gazed into heaven…”

2 Corinthians 3:18 says that as we gaze upon the Lord, inner transformation takes place. We take on His character.

In Pilgrim’s Progress, Christian carried a heavy burden on his back. It weighed him down. It dogged his steps. Then there was the scene where he rolled his burden at the foot of the cross. 

Proverbs 16:3 says. “Commit your works to the Lord, and your thoughts will be established.” The word ‘commit’ is illustrated through a note in my Bible. “The picture is of a camel, burdened with a heavy load; when the load is to be removed, the camel kneels down, tilts far to one side, and the load rolls off.” We relinquish through prayer.

1 Peter 5:7 says, “Casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you.” The Greek word for care is to divide the mind. The word denotes distractions, anxieties, burdens, and worries.”

2 Peter 1:3 says, “As His divine power has given to us all things that pertain to life and godliness, through the knowledge of Him who called us by glory and virtue.” ALL means no exception. Cast your burdens at His feet. He already bore them on the cross. Isaiah 53:4.

Our brain’s limbic system files every event that we have ever gone through, with our recorded emotions. Description from the Cleveland Clinic: it is a group of interconnected brain structures that help regulate your emotions and behavior. It works together with other brain regions by processing your memory, thoughts, motivations, then tell your body how to respond.

That brings Proverbs 4:23 to the front. It says, “Keep your heart with all diligence, for out of it spring the issues of life.” Unresolved issues harbor emotional pain, remain buried, and are not registered in our conscious mind.

However, they continually seep into our thought processes. That is why we negatively react to something in our present that reminds us of a past event. The emotions are triggered which instantly activate our sympathetic nervous system ~ or fight, flight, freeze. 

It is essential to release things from our past. They only exist in our mind. No way to change them. However we can stop carrying their heavy emotional baggage. It is over. Our past is passed. Let it go and embrace your present.

I was thanking the Lord for who He is at all times, and this thought came. He is never disappointed in us. Why? He knows the thoughts of our hearts moment by moment. He never places expectations on us. Therefore He never has a broken expectation.

Unlike us, we get disappointed when the things we thought were going to happen didn’t. Do you have unfulfilled desires that have caused disappointment to lodge in your heart? A broken expectation causes emotional pain.

A broken expectation can crush our spirit. Proverbs 17:22 says, “A merry heart does good, like medicine, but a broken spirit dries up the bones.” Could this be a root of osteoporosis? Or perhaps bone on bone where the cartilage is dried up?

Proverbs 18:14 says, “The spirit of a man will sustain him in sickness, but who can bear a broken spirit?” This verse reminds me of Luke 4:18 in the Amplified. Jesus came to set the captives free. It says, “…to send forth as delivered those who are oppressed (who are downtrodden, bruised, crushed, and broken down by calamity).”

Hebrews 11:6 says that what pleases the Lord is our faith. Romans 14:23 ends with, “…whatever is not of faith is sin.” Therefore doing things to gain favor, be accepted, be noticed, seeking attention is all classified as self serving. 

Ephesians 6:6 says, “Not with eyeservice, as men-pleasers, but as bondservant of Christ, doing the will of God from the heart.” Colossians 3:17 says, “And whatever you do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him.”

Another aspect of pleasing the Lord is doing His will. 1 Thessalonians 5:18 is so clear in saying, “In everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.” Hebrews 13:21 says, “Make you complete in every good work to do His will, working in you what is well pleasing in His sight…”

Proverbs 16:7 says, “When a man’s ways please the Lord, He makes even his enemies to be at peace with him.” Troubling interpersonal relationships are the Lord’s tool for character development and transformation.

The Holy Spirit will check our spirit when our motives are to please ourselves, in order to look good in others eyes. Men pleasers have a ‘me-first’ demeanor and attitude. When I was in first grade, we had a coloring book called “Me-First” as an endeavor to teach us to share.

Philippians 2:3 says, “Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself.” Galatians 5:26 says, “Let us not become conceited, provoking one another, envying one another.”

2 Timothy 2:24 says, “And a servant of the Lord must not quarrel but be gentle to all, able to teach, patient.” Paul addressed himself and Timothy as bondservants of Jesus Christ in Philippians 1:1 . In Titus he used the title bondservant and an apostle.

Paul knew from the beginning of his conversion that he would suffer for the sake of Christ. In 2 Corinthians 11:23-33 he described what that looked like. 2 Corinthians 4:8 says, “We were hard-pressed on every side…perplexed…persecuted…struck down…” Let us labor for our Master with joy.

I had read through the book of Galatians twice. As I started again for my third time, the Holy Spirit stopped me at verse 10. It says, “For do I now persuade men, or God? Or do I seek to please men? For if I still pleased men, I would not be a bondservant of Christ.”

As I read, “…do I seek to please men?” The Holy Spirit gave me this insight. When we seek to please ourselves, we are pleasing men. Hmm. What is a men pleaser? Someone who is self-centered. They think of themselves first.

There is an excellent picture of a servant’s role in Luke 17:7-10. The servant has worked all day plowing or tending sheep. I can imagine he is exhausted. Then he has to immediately serve his master. 

Verse 8 says, “…Prepare something for my supper, and gird yourself and serve me till I have eaten and drunk, and afterward you will eat and drink…”

1 Thessalonians 2:4 says, “…even so we speak, not as pleasing men, but God who tests our hearts.” The Lord knows our true motives.

Romans 9 is about Israel’s rejection. We can apply verse 20 to ourselves. It says, “But indeed, O man, who are you to reply against God? Will the thing formed say to him who formed it, Why have you made me thus?”

2 Timothy 2:20 says that in a great house there are vessels of gold and silver, but also of wood and of clay ~ some for honor and some for dishonor. Verse 21 says, “Therefore if anyone cleanses himself from the latter, he will be a vessel for honor, sanctified and useful for the Master, prepared for every good work.”

Our progressive sanctification is the work of God’s pressure. His design is to remove the dross from our lives through our trials. Romans 5:3 Amplified says, “Moreover (let us also be full of joy now!) let us exult and triumph in our troubles and rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that pressure and affliction and hardship produce patient and unswerving endurance.”

Our trial’s pressures are designed to develop character. How is your attitude in your trials? Does it exemplify the Lord to those around you?